no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
