Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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