Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
