Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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