She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
