We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i believe in u and ur pee
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
