the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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