i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
