She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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