His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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