We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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