In the future we'll all be gay
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
