Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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