my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
