did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
