I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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