i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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