We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
