A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
