Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
