After last night, I could never be a politician.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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