We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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