You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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