Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
