I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
