I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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