I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize