This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
