ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
