My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
