This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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