I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
