i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
