You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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