I'm pants shitting drunk right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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