Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
