Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize