When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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