so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
