and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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