Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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