She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
soo... how was my night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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