there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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