She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
