i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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