Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
