If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize