ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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