just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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