I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My balls are so social today.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
