Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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