I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
