No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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