I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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