i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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