I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My balls are so social today.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
