he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
