Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize