yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
