You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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