They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
