I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
