I'm laying in your front yard are you home
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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