i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
