dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
